“I’m glad my physical features are like a potato,” Brenda told me with all seriousness. “Because I’m like this, I don’t encounter the drama that some of my pretty North Korean female colleagues face in the field of ministry in South Korea.”

I was sitting in a coffee shop with Brenda (one of our Elim House residents) in June 2024 listening to her life story. Throughout my trip, she would tell me about the unfortunate mishaps she dealt with as a church evangelist working with North Korea and South Korean congregants at her church. On this particular day, our discussion was full of intense emotions. One minute I was laughing so hard at the funny things that were coming out of her mouth. She had such a great sense of humor. The next minute I was sobbing as she shared with me one tragic incident in her life after another which had led her to the present day.

Brenda was abandoned by her parents in North Korea and for 10 years, she lived as a kotjebi. Literally, kotjebi means “fluttering swallows” and it is used in reference to this bird’s unending search for food and shelter. During this time of homelessness, Brenda resolutely concluded in her heart that she could trust no one but herself in this world as no one had ever taken care of her.

Brenda escaped from North Korea to China in 2008 at a time when the Chinese government was significantly cracking down on North Korean refugees and the brokers who trafficked them. “I was a prized commodity and sold for a very high price because there were so few of us entering China around that time,” Brenda explained matter-of-factly.

Without any contacts in China, Brenda literally walked into the country after crossing the Tumen river and went from village to village, shouting, “Somebody save me!”

Brenda was eventually sold as a bride and spent three years in China. Among the many horrific events of her life she recounted was when she was repeatedly kicked by a man with very sharp boots, an incident where she thought she would literally die. Another time, she was beaten so badly by another man that she lost her sense of hearing in her right ear, which was not fully restored until she came to South Korea many years later and received surgery.

When she left North Korea, she left behind an 18 year old son and a 7 year old son. Her youngest had wandered out of the house when Brenda was out searching for food for her family. He too had gone searching for food and was never seen again.

Brenda was introduced to the gospel years before she came to our shelter and when she gave her life to Christ, she learned what it meant to trust God and not depend only on herself. As she inwardly learned to accept Jesus’ love for her, God began to reveal to her the beauty of the world around her. She decided to pursue studies at a South Korean seminary, a seven-year journey that led her to become an evangelist.

She used to ask God why he had answered all of her prayers except the one where she asked to see her sons again. She once heard God ask her in return, would you pray as fervently for North Korea if I allowed you to see your sons? No, she realized. She would probably be consumed by making up for lost time with her sons, taking them to the mall to buy anything they wanted and to buffets to eat to their hearts’ content.

Brenda says God’s mission for her life is to help save her country through Jesus. “North Korea is dark and nothing prospers there because God is unknown. I have to do what I can to change that.”