This June, a missions team from Shepherd Church in California spent a week in South Korea serving and loving on the North Korean women of Elim House and Elim Community. The team led an art therapy activity with our Elim House residents called “Two Hands.” It was led by Althea, one of the members of the team, who works as a nurse in a hospital caring for the mentally ill. The “Two Hands” activity we did with our Elim House residents was one that she does with her patients back home.

As part of the activity, we traced both of our hands on a large piece of construction paper. Using markers, we were asked to fill the left hand drawing with words, phrases or pictures of things we needed to hold onto. On the right hand drawing, we were asked to fill it with things we needed to let go of.

A powerful time of sharing ensued. We were struck by the universality of our pain and suffering as we shared the things we needed to let go of. As Americans, we were worlds apart in so many ways from the North Korean refugees sitting across from us, yet we could immediately empathize with their core feelings of anxiety, depression, anger, insecurities, and pain inflicted by others. Our Elim House residents also expressed surprise and empathy while listening to our Shepherd Church members’ struggles which were similar to their own.

We also found commonality in the things that we needed to hold on to. Most of us mentioned exceptional people in our lives who showed us incredible love to help us get to where we were. Many of us had Jesus at the center of our drawing.

At the same time, there were moments that sharply demarcated our residents’ struggles with our own. Like when Brenda shared that she needed to hold on to the memories she had of her two lost sons in North Korea and let go of her memories of endless days of starvation in North Korea. Or when Jamie shared that she needed to hold on to her mom who was still in North Korea. That afternoon she showed me a picture of her mom that was taken a year ago. The woman who stared back at me in the picture looked gaunt and lifeless. Jamie kissed the picture on her phone screen as she muttered under her breath about the injustice of her 73-year-old mom looking like she was well past 90.

Through the disparities and similarities, we connected deeply with one another in the short time we spent doing this activity. Being vulnerable with each other as we shared some of our deepest pains and joys gave us a sense of unity in our life journeys. We encouraged and prayed for each other to earnestly surrender with both hands those things that held us back from our full flourishing. At the same time, we rejoiced as we witnessed each other dearly holding with both hands the gifts God had graciously given us to push us towards more hope, joy, and love.