Ellen’s family prepared for five years to defect from North Korea. Her father was a soccer player and a bit of a hero in Pyongyang. During the Arduous March, people in other regions thought that all Pyongyang people ate well and lived well. According to Ellen, Pyongyang was not spared and like the rest of the country, many people starved to death. They left in 2003 and stayed briefly in China for about a month before making it safely to South Korea in early 2004.
Ellen is one of the few North Korean refugees that speaks with almost no North Korean accent. She attended college in South Korea and holds a doctorate degree. She came to stay at Elim House in February 2024 because of both physical and mental health issues. Ellen was suffering from a type of thyroid disease, was scheduled for a surgery and treatment for uterine fibroids and struggled with deep depression.
When living on her own, Ellen did not eat properly and spent hours just lying around. The doctors she saw for her fibroids suggested she should not live alone. Wanting to be around others and with the upcoming surgery, Ellen asked to reside at Elim House.
Ellen shared that she had been bullied by her classmates during graduate school where her focus was North Korean studies. To make matters worse, she was also ostracized by other North Korean defectors, which brought on a lot of stress. Her relationship with her mom also severed along the way and she eventually cut ties with everyone else in her life. She is currently on medication for depression and insomnia.
Two months into her stay with us, Ellen opened up about the strained relationship she had with her mother. When her mother was pregnant with her, her grandmother had a dream of a tiger and was convinced that the baby was a boy. Her entire family believed and expected a baby boy, but to their surprise, Ellen was born. From that moment, her grandmother mistreated Ellen’s mother, to the point of not even feeding her and neglecting her. That’s when her mother’s hatred towards Ellen began. As she shared this painful backstory with our team, Ellen shed her first tears since arriving at Elim House. She said that she had never told her story to anyone. She joked that Elim was a strange place that had the power to “air out” one’s soul.
Ellen has had many interpersonal conflicts in the past and that has proven to also be a challenge between her and another resident. Heeding the advice of those around her, Ellen started to receive counseling and has also been actively participating in a few Elim Community classes.
Coming to Elim House broke her habits of being alone and inactive. Ellen now takes regular walks, exercises, and has developed a healthy eating schedule, which shows great promise. Moreover, as she reflected on how she felt when sharing the story about her mom’s hatred towards her and her increased use of antidepressant medication to combat stress, Ellen became more aware of her need for help. She agreed to meet with a therapist once a week for at least the next ten weeks. She’s willing to stick to her commitment and believes that through all of this, God has a plan to heal Ellen’s deep hurts. We firmly believe this as well.
