Adopting from North Korea

The situation in North Korea

Many orphans live on the markets and in train stations of North Korea, wandering about in the cold, searching for food and shelter. North Korean street orphans are called Kotjebi (꽃제비), which means “flower swallows”, a species of bird known to constantly search for food and shelter.

The number of orphaned North Korean children grew over the past three decades as many died during the famine from the 1990s and many women who were moms were trafficked to China. Many orphans were sent to North Korean state-run and private orphanages. Stories from both types of orphanages are equally treacherous, fraught with instances of forced labor, overcrowding and lack of food and supplies. Physical and sexual abuse is also a heartbreaking reality in North Korean orphanages.

Kim Jong Un wants the world to believe he cares for orphans. He has established orphanages for foreign delegates to see as evidence of his work, yet much of the aid sent is rifled through, leaving orphans with “almost nothing”. Many orphans run away to live with grandparents or relatives while those with no alternatives try to survive on their own. Like flower swallows, they wander the streets begging for food and looking for shelter.

It is unknown how many children are orphaned in North Korea today.

Adopting North Korean Orphans

In January 2012, President Obama signed into law the North Korean Child Welfare Act of 2012. This new law calls for the U.S. State Department to advocate for the "best interests" of North Korean children, which includes helping facilitate adoption of children living outside of North Korea lacking parental care. Unfortunately, there are no specifics on how to accomplish these goals nor is it able to help orphans still in North Korea. While the law showed promise, there has been little progress since this act was signed.

Adopting directly from North Korea would require the involvement of the North Korean court system, proper documentation of a search for the child’s birth parents and legal permission for that child to leave North Korea. All three of these requirements are impossibilities. Without seismic changes to Kim Jon Un’s rule, the best chance at helping orphaned North Korean children will be limited to those who have escaped their homeland and become “stateless”. Steve Morrison, founder of Mission to Promote the Adoption of Kids (MPAK) explains more in the following video.

North Korean Orphans in China

There are as many as 40,000 orphans who have escaped to China, according to Kim Yong-Hwa, founder of the North Korean Refugees Human Rights Association. These children are stateless and likely without proper care in China.

In our next piece, we will dive deeper into the Chinese adoption system and how North Korean refugees, including orphaned children, are impacted.

Related articles and videos:

• Article - North Korean Orphans

• Video - Is it possible to adopt a North Korean orphan?

Getting Ready

"Sung" during break time at our retreat for North Korean children.

At the end of our summer retreat for the children in our network, a young man 17 years of age sat weeping in the back of a van headed back to his orphanage.

"Sung" would always volunteer to help out with whatever the counselors needed help with. He always eagerly rallied the rest of the kids and gently scolded them when they fell out of line. He organized the younger kids in skits and other activities.

Sung is an excellent student and, unlike many of the other kids in our network, will be going to an academic college to further his studies. He stands about 6 feet tall, almost a head above the rest of the children. His posture is always impeccable.

But behind his kind and capable exterior is a world of pain. Unlike so many of the orphans in our network, Sung knew his mother well. She was a North Korean refugee who was sold to his father in 1999. She is often described by Sung and those who knew her as smart and loving. When he was in grade school, she was diagnosed with liver cancer and died shortly thereafter. He has a lot of good memories of his mother.

After his mother died, things went downhill for Sung and his father. Things got so bad that his father had to send him to an orphanage. That's how we met him.

Though his life and academics turned around, Sung never fully recovered emotionally from the trauma of losing his mother. We do not know exactly why he was crying as he was leaving the retreat for the last time. But we think it was because he felt loved by the counselors and staff who took the time to visit him every year.

Though we cannot quantify this statistically or measure it in some formula, we know that children like Sung deserve the best love we can give. We pride ourselves on our ability to prepare our orphans for adulthood but we know that this means nothing if they don’t feel loved. This is our job, to prepare them and love them. We will do this for as long as God allows.

Raising North Korean Orphans - Planning for the Future

"Byung Wook" was at home when his mother was dragged away by the police. He said he heard the police raid the home but was too afraid to come out of his room. When he came out the next morning, his mother was gone and his father was sitting on the floor in shock. This is how Byung Wook became a North Korean orphan. Byung Wook came to one of our group homes in 2009 and has struggled academically more than any other child in our network. His performance in school was so bad that his teachers refused to give him any tests to prevent him from bringing down the class average. They put little effort to bring Byung Wook up to speed in his studies and he spends most of his time in class sleeping.

Such is the challenge of raising an academically challenged child in China, where opportunities are harder to come by and it is harder to catch up if a child is behind.

Last year Crossing Borders received sobering results from the surveys we administered. One of the biggest things we learned was that our North Korean orphans are ill prepared for the future. Just 20 percent of our children have a realistic career plan with short, mid and long-term steps on how they will reach these goals.

This is something we can help with.

As our North Korean orphans grow into maturity, it is vital that we equip them with the tools they need to be self-sufficient. The average age of our children is now 12.5-years-old.

Thinking about career paths poses a challenge for our field staff, most of whom have been raised in a rural environment. It is difficult for them to see the importance of getting the right training to suit the type of career each child wants.

China is rapidly changing. Over the past 30 years the economy has shifted from a mostly agrarian economy to one that is highly industrialized. This means that the old way of obtaining and finding employment has been upended. Our workers need to be able to adjust so that our children can find meaningful employment and even be a benefit to the community at large.

It is also difficult for them to think about such things as they deal with the daily needs of the children. This is why we feel that it is vital for us to educate our caretakers and give them practical tools to help each child become productive members of society.

By the end of this year, we want to work with each child age 14 and older to have a clear and attainable career path. We will also work with their caretakers to make sure these plans are practical in the context in which each of these children live.

This is why we believe that it is necessary to deal with the challenges North Korean orphans face from an organizational standpoint. While our caretakers provide a stable, loving and nurturing environment for each child, Crossing Borders can come alongside these caretakers to provide additional help.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. It is a unique “village” that Crossing Borders has created. We connect donors from around the world with experts both in the U.S. and around the world to provide the love and care that each of these children need.

You can be a part of this community of help by sponsoring a child. Through our Child Sponsorship Program, you can donate $40 or $80 per month to provide for the needs of children in our network. Find out more here.

Raising North Korean Orphans - Technology

It was an abrupt ending to what was a wonderful time with our North Korean orphan, "Jae Hwa". One evening about two years ago, a child in one of our group homes said she was leaving for a boarding school nearby. The house fell under a muffled silence after she left, as if covered in a thick blanket. Jae Hwa had been planning this with her father for months but nobody in the home knew.

Like all the children in this home, Jae Hwa’s mother was North Korean refugee who was purchased by a Chinese man. Her mother was captured by the Chinese police and sent back to a North Korean prison camp when Jae Hwa was eight-years-old. She came into Crossing Borders’ care in 2011, when she was 13-years-old.

Jae Hwa’s father went to South Korea to find work and kept in touch with his daughter by text message via the smart phone he purchased her.

The children in this home were allowed to have smart phones for this very purpose. As time went on, these phones became a nuisance. The kids were using them to play games and to text with their friends. It became harder to hold their attention and this led to conflict as the caretakers of this home would sometimes take these phones away.

Parents around the world are grappling with how to control their children’s smartphone use and so too are the caretakers of our North Kroean orphans. Not only do they have to deal with them as distractions but they must also be wary of the way our children portray their living conditions in these homes to their parents.

Jae Hwa would tell her father that she felt trapped in her home, that her caretakers were too strict and that she was unhappy. These accounts, one must note, were filtered through the lens of a teenage girl. She didn’t report any abuse or specific incidents of wrongdoing. What drove her away was the rigid structure of the home, something teens around the world struggle with.

Teenagers are impulsive. They make poor choices. They are reckless.

In 2012, National Geographic Magazine published a fascinating study on the teenage brain. It was once thought that brains are fully developed by the age of 10, recent studies found that teenagers have brains that are about 90 percent developed. This development could be one of the reasons why teenagers are so impulsive, the study said.

“These studies help explain why teens behave with such vexing inconsistency: beguiling at breakfast, disgusting at dinner; masterful on Monday, sleepwalking on Saturday,” the writer says. “Along with lacking experience generally, they're still learning to use their brain's new networks.”’

This might explain one of the factors to what we consider a poor decision on the part of Jae Hwa.

She thought that living in a dorm would allow her to do what she wanted. She thought that she would be able to go to play games at a local PC gaming business through the night. She thought she would be able to go to parties.

She realized that this wasn’t true at all.

Her dormitory has strict rules and in some ways is even stricter than her Crossing Borders group home.

Our caretakers are adjusting now. They are now loosening the grip they once held on our North Korean orphans. They are now allowed to go to birthday parties and their schedules are less rigid but for now, smartphones are banned in this home.

Jae Hwa visits the home every weekend for church and even brings her classmates along. She looks thin. She doesn’t like the food at the dorm and it does not offer meals on the weekends.

Every weekend our caretakers take Jae Hwa grocery shopping and they cook her any meal that she wants. They tell her repeatedly that she could come back to the home but she does not. Her father will not allow it based on the testimony she once gave him.

For now, all we can offer her are some meals, prayers and an open door.

China Facts: The Result - Effects on North Korean Refugees

What has happened as a result of China’s policies on North Korean refugees has been a human rights disaster. Tens of thousands of North Korean refugee women have been sold to Chinese men.

Approximately 70 to 80 percent of North Korean refugee women are trafficked into forced marriages, sexual exploitation, and abusive labor, according to Mark P. Lagon, Ambassador-at-Large and Director, Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons, U.S. Dep’t of State.

This has caused a world of suffering for the women who have been sold and the children who have been born into these marriages.

power-and-control-wheel

Some women Crossing Borders has assisted have reported brutal treatment in the marriages they were forced into. Many were physically abused. One woman told us that she was locked in a shed and was "shared" by five farmers who couldn't afford to purchase a wife on their own.

Many North Korean refugees have children with their Chinese husbands. It is estimated by some experts that the population of these half North Korean, half Chinese children is about 60,000. Since China actively seeks out these women and many others flee these oppressive marriages, there is a growing population of children who do not have mothers or fathers who are willing to care for them.

Crossing Borders runs group homes to meet the needs of these children. We also provide scholarships for other children who live with family members.

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The human cost of the North Korean refugee crisis cannot be measured. Children who have seen their mothers hauled off by Chinese police are haunted by these memories. The women who have been beaten and raped by their "husbands" live with these scars.

Stay tuned for the final installment of China Facts later this week.

North Korean Orphans: Lice and Other Curious Transactions

“Meena,” a North Korean orphan we support in our Second Wave program, came to English Camp this year with a short, boyish haircut. This was surprising to many of us because her personal style has always been very girly with lots of pastels and frills. She has had long hair for several years. We later found out that she had lice. Her caretakers think that she contracted it from school. She had to cut her hair just before camp started.

At English Camp, our annual, four-day retreat where we take many of the children in our programs out of the city and into the wilderness, 10-year-old Meena slept next to her counselor, a woman from the US.

After the team arrived back to the US, her counselor noticed little insects in her hair. She realized that she had contracted lice from little, sweet Meena. The counselor had to cut her hair too.

This exchange of lice expresses the beauty of our organization. Not only do we want to feed, shelter and pay for our children’s education, we want to love them intimately and try our best to provide the care that their parents would.

Meena’s mother was sold to her Chinese husband as the effects of the Great North Korean famine were still wreaking havoc on the country. In 2003, her mother fled her country illegally and was sold to the highest bidder. Their child, Meena, was born stateless. China did not recognize her as a citizen because of her mother’s status and North Korea did not recognize her because she was born in China.

When Meena was an infant, her mother escaped her life of enslavement and shortly after, Meena’s father left town to find work. This left Meena in the care of her aunt, who contracted an unknown disease that left half her body paralyzed in 2010.

There was no one to take care of her.

Crossing Borders took Meena in and has cared for her for about four years. During this time she has experienced the love and affection of her caretakers, a local pastor and his wife.

Our organization aims to love and care for North Korean orphans like Meena. We take pains to ensure that she grows up in an environment filled with love and affection. Like our mission statement says, we aim to “show the compassion of Christ to North Koreans and their children in China.” That is exactly what we are doing for Meena.

Every child has their moments of pain, times when they act out. This deeply wounded population of North Korean orphans have many scars from their past. Our people are there for these children to absorb their pain in exchange for love. We believe that this is what it means to show to compassion of Christ to these people.

Isaiah 53:5 says that Jesus “was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.”

Just like the loving counselor who took on lice so that Meena could have someone to sleep next to at night, we believe that Christ has done the same for us a million times over.

When asked if she would do it all over again, knowing she would contract lice, our counselor did not hesitate to say, “Yes.”

Our caretakers do the same, daily. Our missionaries have given up a comfortable life in the West for close to a decade. Our staff and volunteers have given up their time, prayers, sweat and tears to make sure this organization is running.

At the heart of Crossing Borders is an attitude of sacrifice to show this love to the people we help.

Field Update: 8 North Korean Orphans

Recently, Crossing Borders took in eight new North Korean orphans into our Second Wave ministry, bringing the total number of children we help to 62. Through Second Wave, we help children of North Korean refugee women who have been sold as forced brides to Chinese men. The population of North Korean orphans is in the tens of thousands, according to experts.

Many of the children born into these forced marriages are separated from their mothers, making them orphans, according to the United Nations, who defines children who are missing one or both of their parents as orphans. Most of their mothers were captured by the Chinese police, sent back to North Korea, placed in concentration camps and never heard from again.

“Jung” is a 13-year-old boy we have recently taken in. He is the son of a North Korean refugee woman who had been sold to his father. His mother was captured by the Chinese police and sent back to North Korea when he was young. His father works far away in another region in China. Jung’s elderly grandmother is the only one able to take care of him but she is so old that she needs help with basic chores around their home. A neighborhood man comes to their home daily and helps.

Jung is autistic. He attends a school in the region for special needs children. He plays well by himself and has a keen interest in electronics and computers. He does not engage in conversations with other people but understands what is said when he is spoken to and can read out loud.

Jung was taken to church and his church laid hands on him to pray for him. He didn’t like this but over time he began to warm to the people there. Recently, he put his hand on a hymn and began to cry. Since that day, he enjoys being prayed for.

To find out how you can help children like Jung, go to our Child Sponsorship page.

Over the past two years, Crossing Borders has been able to nearly double the number of North Korean orphans we help because of the success of our Child Sponsorship program.

Director's Notes: Usefulness of Suffering

The following post was written by Crossing Borders' Executive Director, Dan Chung and was originally posted in 2014. The story has been updated to reflect the changes in the life of the North Korean orphan he references.  

At the age of eight, I began a dark stretch in my life. I started to have night terrors. Every night through my early teens, I would be caught in a terrible dream where I was running from some terrifying, unseen force. This dream would manifest itself into reality. Each night I would get out of bed screaming and run around my house and sometimes my neighborhood.

Some mornings I would awake to find myself sleeping on the curb.

As a result I was afraid of sleep and would do anything to delay the inevitable. And to this day, I have trouble falling asleep, even as I lay exhausted in bed.

But in some intangible way, this small bit of suffering has laid the foundations for my life as an adult. The pain, which was deep and seemingly unending, drives my work as executive director of Crossing Borders today. As I’ve sat and listened to a countless number of resilient North Korean refugees tell me their stories since 2003, my heart still breaks. And I know that it is in part because of the small quantum of pain I experienced as a child.

Today half-North Korean orphans in Northeast China experience a much greater pain. I saw it in the eyes of "Haneul," a North Korean orphan we helped. Haneul and her family have told us her story. 

Standing out on the streets, a wandering North Korean orphan was crying and looking for anyone to help her. Haneul was six-years-old.

Her North Korean mother fled China through the Underground Railroad and cut off all communication to the people she knew in China, even her daughter and her husband, who purchased her in 2001. Haneul's father left for South Korea to find his wife and to find work.

He would send money back to a friend in China, who was taking care of Haneul. But after a while the money stopped and he was never heard from again. Some say he died. Some say he moved to a different country. No one knows for sure.

Shortly after her father’s money stopped, Haneul was abandoned in the middle of a busy city by her guardians.

She wandered around and somehow found her uncle, a poor Chinese man. He took his niece in. He has a half-North Korean daughter, who is a little younger than Haneul. He too had a wife who he purchased. She left him after their daughter was born. He is poor. He has worked odd jobs here and there but nothing permanent. And he has no idea how to take care of these two girls.

In early 2014, when I visited Haneul at her uncle’s house, She was living in squalor. The soot from the coal that locals burn underground to heat their homes was caked her skin. She was shivering and had a runny nose. There were pans with crusted ramen noodles on the floor of their small living space.

Some experts say that North Korean orphans in China number in the tens-of-thousands. Though many have family who care for them, most live in abject poverty. Some wander the streets looking through bins for trash they can sell. Most long for their mothers who have either taken the Underground Railroad and have found greener pastures or have been captured by the Chinese police, sent back to North Korea and have never been heard from again. All North Korean orphans suffer in some way, shape or form at a young age.

David Brooks of the New York Times published an article titled “What Suffering Does.” It is an interesting reminder about how suffering can be used to bring meaning and purpose in a person’s life.

He says that suffering “means seeing life as a moral drama, placing the hard experiences in a moral context and trying to redeem something bad by turning it into something sacred.”

Though the North Korean orphans in our care have suffered much in their lives, we have hope that they can use this pain as a vehicle to do good. The best way we see this happening is through a vibrant relationship with Christ.

Haneul is on the path to redeeming her experiences. In 2015 she was reunited with her mother in South Korea. She goes to school and is very happy, according to our missionaries who visited her in 2016. 

As we pray for the innumerable North Korean orphans lost in China, let us remember the importance of suffering, that the deeper it is, the more capacity people have to redeem it. It is our hope that these children can take the deep reservoir of their experiences and unleash it back into the world to transform it.

North Korean Orphans: Hae Na

One of the North Korean orphans in our care through Second Wave, “Hae Na,” has gone through a dark period like many of us have in high school or college. Her face seems to be permanently downcast. She shows little emotion. It’s hard for her to talk. She excels at penmanship, arts and crafts, things she can do in silence, alone. At the age of 14 she has seen so much. Hae Na’s mother - who was originally from North Korea - escaped to South Korea when Hae Na was a child. Her mother promised her and her father before she left that she would send for the two of them after she was granted citizenship in South Korea. Years went by without a word until finally, Hae Na's mother called and said she was doing well. But there was no invitation for Hae Na or her father to join her in South Korea.

Hae Na’s father did some digging and heard that his wife was with another man. Ablaze with jealousy, he traveled to South Korea, found her, and murdered her. He was imprisoned and Hae Na hasn’t heard from him since.

Hae Na's caretakers say that they have seen the most change in Hae Na compared to anyone else in their home. This is surprising to hear because from our staff's experience, she is always so quiet.

But every once in a while we will catch her smiling whether it’s while she is playing a game or off thinking on her own. This is the “change” her caretaker was talking about.

Change comes slowly for the North Korean orphans in our group homes. People from the West like to make action plans, formulas and schedules. We see the world as a place we can manicure on our timeline. We are reminded by the foolishness of these plans through people like Hae Na.

On a cool summer evening this year, Crossing Borders' volunteer missionaries took Hae Na and the other North Korean orphans in her group home on a creaky old carnival ride in her town. It was shaped like a boat and it rocked back and forth for what seemed like 20 minutes, much longer than a similar ride in the US would go. She was looking up at the stars. Her hands clenched tightly on the bars in front of her, smiling as if she didn’t have a care in the world.

It is moments like these that remind us that all we can give is our best but ultimately heart change is God’s work - that though there is a darkness that seems unquenchable, ultimately there is light.

Please pray for the deep wounds in Hae Na’s heart and the hearts of all the North Korean orphans and refugees in our care. Pray for healing and, by God's love, for something beautiful to come from the many difficulties they have faced in their lives.

“He makes all things beautiful in his time.” - Diane Ball

Cake: A Doorway to a North Korean Orphan's Heart

"Chun Joo" is one of the North Korean orphans in Crossing Borders' Second Wave group homes. It was Chun Joo's birthday when our team visited her orphanage. They went to an American restaurant with her, which served chicken sandwiches and French fries, the closest  to Western food our staff had eaten in over a week. Chun Joo received some small gifts and a paper crown on her head. When the candles on her gaudy cake were lit, she began to cry. Chun Joo could have been crying because she remembered the home she came from. The house she lived in prior to being brought into our Second Wave network was described by Crossing Borders’ missionaries as a “pig sty” with “no space to walk.”

It could have been because she remembered, in this moment, witnessing her father abusing her North Korean mother repeatedly until she "looked like a panda bear." She may have been crying in part because her mother left her behind to flee from her father. Following her mother's departure, Chun Joo's father began to abuse his daughter as well.

Worried for her, wanting to comfort her, our staff asked Chun Joo why she was upset. Chun Joo simply replied that it was because she was happy.

Crossing Borders' team spent a week with Chun Joo and North Korean orphans like her in Northeast China teaching them English and about the gospel. She was very shy at first but with much effort and the work of God, she opened up and began sharing with our teachers. She participated in the activities. She even prayed with our staff.

Our team knew Chun Joos' story going into the camp before they even met her. She had experienced a very harsh and difficult life as a North Korean orphan in China. Her report, however, read, “... she has totally transformed from when we first met her. Where she was shy and sad, she now always has a smile on her face.”

In a few years this fragile little girl has gone from being frightened, nervous and hesitant to being a joyful, gentle young woman. When our summer team played games with her she would always be the first to laugh at her own mistakes. She formed close bonds wit h our volunteers.

The only thing that our team knew for sure as she sat silently crying was what she told us: that she was happy.

We pray that our North Korean orphans' happiness would not be based solely on exterior circumstances but because Jesus loves them and wants to share his compassion for them.

Prayer for North Korean Orphans: A Prayer for Jong

Please pray this week for a North Korean orphan who had surgery last week to remove a growth in his neck. Last week our missionary alerted us that "Jong", one of the North Korean orphans in our Second Wave group homes, had a egg-sized growth on his neck which was causing discomfort and coughing. His guardians, local Crossing Borders staff who assist in providing holistic care to the children in our care, took Jong to the hospital immediately and the doctors said it had to be removed.

When Jong was about 6 years old, his mother was captured by Chinese police officers. He vaguely remembers what his mother looks like. Her whereabouts are unknown. His father is a farmer and walks with a limp in one leg. His father also had brain surgery in the past and is very forgetful due to his original head injury or surgery. Because his father is unable to take care of him, Jong had infrequent care from his uncle who would assist in his home. When our missionaries learned of the child's situation, they consulted with his father and brought Jong was brought to a Crossing Borders orphanage for North Korean orphans. He has been provided for by our workers and missionaries since.

Jong is a good kid, who often looks for the approval of his caretakers, teachers, and other adults. His favorite color is blue, and favorite type of food is beef. He enjoys playing the most with remote-controlled cars, and hopes to be a scientist one day. He is a happy boy because he received love from his father, according to our missionaries.

Crossing Borders is looking to get his growth analyzed in the United States so that we can be sure this doesn’t grow into a larger problem. Please pray with us as we look into options for him in the US, and as we continue care for the North Korean orphans in Second Wave.

Prayer for North Korean Orphans: Two New Children

Pictured: The front yard at the home of one of our North Korean orphans. Recently we have moved forward in our plans to expand our care for North Korean orphans in Northeast China. This is due to the overwhelming success of our Child Sponsorship Program. We can help more children because more of them are sponsored by our faithful supporters.

The children in this program have North Korean mothers who have either been captured by the Chinese police and sent back to North Korea or have fled for freedom in South Korea. We have several orphanages spread out throughout Northeast China and we also partner with schools to pay for their education and some of their living expenses.

We want you to meet a two of our North Korean orphans so you can pray for them with us:

"Juhee" is 11 years old. Her mother was arrested in China four years ago and sent back to a North Korean prison camp. Her father is in his 50s and is unable to work because he is partially paralyzed. He purchased Juhee’s mother, a North Korean refugee, in the illegal sex trade that exploded in China following the North Korean famine of the 90s. She and her father live in extreme poverty. Please pray for her as she will continue to live with her father and go to a local private school.

"Sunhee" is a teenager and her mother escaped from China to South Korea in the early 2000s. It was unclear if her mother made the dangerous journey from China to South Korea via the Underground Railroad. They hadn’t heard from Sunhee’s mother for years. If a refugee is caught fleeing to South Korea, they are treated harshly in the North Korean prison camp system. Last year Sunhee and her father received a call from Sunhee’s mother for the very first time. Her mother had indeed made it to South Korea but there was no invitation to bring Sunhee or her father to South Korea. There was no money sent. It was a call to simply say hello with no promises of another call. Please pray for Sunhee as she continues with her schooling and attempts to move forward with her life.

Crossing Borders is committed to helping as many of North Korean orphans as we possibly can. We are looking for opportunities to help more families. Please pray for these children as we try to give them hope through education and the gospel.

North Korean Orphans: Sex and Half-North Korean Teens

China’s population of half-North Korean, half Chinese youths are beginning to reach adolescence, which means the introduction of adolescent problems. This is something we have seen in our group homes for North Korean orphans. Last year, a boy in one of our orphanages was caught downloading pornographic materials. His caretakers did not know what to do. In China, sex is a taboo subject. In our children’s schools there are no sex education courses and parents rarely speak to their children about the birds and the bees.

In that same orphanage, two of our girls began menstruating.

In response to this, our missionaries decided to hold a seminar about sex in a biblical context. Here is an excerpt from their report:

"We also talked about an amazing Chinese character –性 (xing) means sex, it has two words together, the first part 心 means ‘mind’, and 生 means body. So, true sex means body and soul, it matches what the Bible says.

The most important thing is that the children are committed to keep their bodies and hearts pure for the true love in God’s time for them. Children believe that God has a beautiful plan that is ordered and designed in a way to bring God glory and also will bless them."

This week, please pray for these North Korean orphans who are entering into adolescence without a family to support them. Their mothers have either abandoned them or have been sent back to North Korea by the Chinese police. Their fathers live in abject poverty and there are no people to raise them except for outsiders like Crossing Borders. Please also pray for our caregivers who do their best to address the problems of each of our children in a loving and biblical way.

Prayer for North Korean Refugees: A Sustainable Future

In China is a family of North Korean refugees and orphans we help. “Ha Neul,” lives with her cousin and father in the countryside of Northeast China. Her father has a degenerative bone disorder that prevents him from working on his farm for very long. This family leads a poor and desperate life. Their house was described by one of our missionaries as “filthy.” Ha Neul’s father comes from poverty and because of his disabilities, it was virtually impossible for him to find a wife. China’s One Child Policy has left the country with a severe gender imbalance. It is because of this imbalance that North Korean refugees are trafficked heavily in the country. So Ha Neul’s father went to the open market in Northeast China in the early 2000s to purchase a wife.

Though some women are treated brutally by their purchasers, Ha Neul’s father treated his wife well. They lived happily in the countryside for a time. However, Ha Neul, as many North Korean refugee women, was captured by the police and sent back to North Korea. She has not been heard from since.

Ha Neul’s father tries his best to provide for his daughter but the numbers cannot add up. What little he makes from his farm goes to service his debts. Very little is left over to provide for his half North Korean, half Chinese child, who, until very recently, was not able to obtain a legal ID so she could go to school or obtain medical care. The cards are stacked against Ha Neul and the tens of thousands of families who are in situations like hers.

Crossing Borders is now considering more sustainable options to help North Korean refugees and their families.

For 10 years, we have been providing aid to these communities. But as the landscape has changed in China and North Korea, we feel the need to change along with it.

When we first landed in Northeast China, the situation was dire and immediate aid was necessary. But today, the situation has stabilized. The food situation in North Korea is still unstable but not nearly as horrific as the '90s in the Great North Korean Famine.

What we need now are sustainable models of building infrastructure in the lives of North Korean refugees, to especially be better equipped to help North Korean refugees should the nation of North Korea destabilize or experience another famine. In other words, we need to help Ha Neul’s father support himself and his family instead of simply giving him the aid to help his child.

We are considering several models to help North Korean refugees and their families but the most important thing is to be thoughtful and prayerful about this as we proceed. We know the best plans can fall apart in the blink of an eye if we are not careful.

Please pray with us as we consider how we can help North Korean refugees and those they care for as they continue to pour across the border for help.

Staff Notes: Crossing Borders Work, Contentedness

The following post was written by Crossing Borders staff: My wife and I have recently been looking at houses to buy. It’s a good time to buy, they say. Especially because we just gave birth to a newborn boy, our second child.

He’s a month old and his things are piling up around our small, two-bedroom apartment. Diapers, clothes, a crib, creams, bags.

As I searched online for a home, I said to myself, “If only I was making $__ more, then we could afford the home we need.”

And then last week a rare moment of clarity came over me. "Need? What does one really need?"

When a North Korean refugee comes to Crossing Borders and expresses thankfulness to us about all that we have done for him, I remember what I truly need.

Crossing Borders furnishes our refugees with what we consider basic necessities. Food, a small apartment, a television. And with these things, some come to us gushing with thanksgiving. Many refugees who have been in our care say that they want to go back into North Korea with the blessings they have received through Crossing Borders in China and share the Christ's compassion with others.

I remember a boy in one of our orphanages who used to look through every garbage can he could find. With just a little food, a meager place to live and a good education, we have seen his life transform. He now wants to become a pastor to train and teach in the gospel.

In order to help others, we at Crossing Borders must first realize how blessed we are. Looking through those real estate sites on my Macbook Pro with my speedy internet connection, somehow I forgot what it meant to be content.

I recently listened to a sermon by Tim Keller. He was talking about his wife, who was unsure of whether to move her family from Virginia to New York City in the difficult transition of building a church there. She was looking at a communion table and heard the voice of God saying:

“If I’ve done this for you, then it should be okay for me to ask you to spend the rest of your life living in a cardboard box in the streets of Calcutta.”

After that she agreed to move to New York City and God blessed the world through her and her husband’s ministry.

I am not saying that poverty is equal to godliness. Nor am I saying that being rich is bad. All I am saying is that the desire for more could hinder us from seeing what we have and from helping those in need.

As we pray this week I ask that we would all ask God to give Crossing Borders and those who share our vision the desire to “seek first his kingdom” and not “all these things.”

Prayer for North Korean Orphans: (Almost) Lost Generation

What happens when a generation of North Korean orphans – half Chinese, half North Korean – enter into a world of poverty, without love from a stable home, without proper identification and without a chance? Crossing Borders has had over 10 years to survey the human rights crisis impacting North Korean orphans and refugees in Northeast China. We have concluded that this population at a crossroads. One road is a path to poverty, instability and suffering. Another is the path to education and the gospel. It is a chance for this generation to become a bridge to North Korea.

The generation of North Korean orphans we support were born in the wake of the Great Famine of the 1990s and range in age from eight to 13. Their mothers fled from North Korea to search for food, medical assistance, or a better life. However, following their escape, many were captured and sold to poor Chinese men looking for wives. The orphans who we care for, born out of these forced marriages, have mothers who have left them behind. In some situations, these mothers were running for their lives from abusive husbands or Chinese authorities.

The North Korean orphans left behind have no access to education, medical care or, in the future, legal jobs. They were never granted legal identification.

There are tens of thousands of these children in the region. Estimations add up to over 40,000. Absolute statistics are impossible because they are not counted in any census. But evident to us, nonetheless, is that there seems to be an endless number of them. In each city we visit, we always find large pockets of them.

Upon entry into support from Crossing Borders in our Second Wave program, these children are given an education, raised in discipline and, most importantly, introduced to our faith. In our work, we have had the opportunity to take care of about 150 North Korean orphans. In their lives, we have witnessed stunning transformations. Children who were too scared to speak have become rambunctious and outgoing. Children who were living in filth have been given clean, quiet, orderly homes to live in with guardians who can provide and care for them.

We think it’s time for people around the world to rise up and take responsibility for a group of children, who, if left alone, might be on a road to destruction.

Please pray for these children that they would not be lost in the world cruelty, callousness, or suffering. Please pray that they might be found in Christ.

Staff Notes: A North Korean Refugee Mother's Heart

The following post was written by Crossing Borders volunteer staff: Ever since the birth of our first biological child Lila, my “mother’s heart” has been unusually sensitive to the difficult situations faced by mothers who have had to give up their children. Our second child Chloe was adopted from South Korea at the age of 14 months. She is now almost four years old and we cannot imagine our family without her. But at the same time I know that somewhere in Korea there is a mother who is wondering where her daughter is, how she looks, what she’s thinking and whether she’s safe and happy in her new life.  When I look at Lila, I can’t imagine how it must feel to give up the child you have carried in your womb for nine months and given birth to, and not know what is going to happen to her. And yet I know because of their life circumstances, whether it is poverty, abuse, or lack of family support, many mothers know that they are making a choice for their children to have a better life than they believed they could provide.

Thinking about the North Korean refugee mothers we assist through Crossing Borders, I often wonder if they have contemplated the same thoughts and worries. Though their lives may be vastly different than those of unwed teenagers or single mothers in South Korea, their stories are also the stories of heartbreak, of loss, and of families torn apart by factors beyond their control. What could possibly have gone through refugee mothers' minds as they made the perilous decision to cross the Tumen River, often leaving behind their youngest children in the hope of finding work or food in China, and hoping that they would soon be able to return? How must their hearts have sunk as they saw those hopes unravel when they were captured by sex traffickers and sold like property to men whose language they did not understand, trading one life of starvation and oppression in North Korea for one of fear and despair in China? And how did they feel when they bore new children and began cobbling together another life, only to be forced to run away for their safety and their children’s safety when they could no longer endure the abuse of their new “husbands”?

Though as varied and complicated as each individual experience may be, as a mother my guess is that one thing remains in common for them. These North Korean refugee mothers haven’t forgotten. They haven’t forgotten the daughter or the son they left behind. Although consciously they may no longer think of them daily, in their mother’s heart I am sure there is an emptiness that remains. And even if they are so numb that they cannot remember, I know that God remembers each orphan and abandoned child left in North Korea or China, and He loves them and cares for them as His own.

As some of the North Korean orphans in our Second Wave shelters recently studied during their devotions, the Word of God says,

“Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me” (Psalm 27:10).

Below, in their own words, are some of the responses expressed by the children after studying this Scripture:

My parents gave me a life. But God who created me is my true parent. My parents have forsaken me.  But Jehovah God receives me eternally. I will truly pray to Him and praise Him. I want to be His joy.

My parents forsake me but God did not forsake me.  He sent me to Pastor to raise a faithful person. I give thanks to God. I will praise Him and go to heaven.

Please help us as we continue to pray over not only our orphans, but the North Korean refugee mothers who are not with them.

Introducing Sex Education to Our North Korean Orphans

Earlier this month Crossing Borders’ missionaries held a sex education class with the North Korean orphans in our care in one of our group homes. This marks a milestone in Second Wave. Most of the education programs through Second Wave thus far have been geared toward children. We realize that we must now change with the passage of time, as the children grow into adolescence. Our missionaries felt that sex education was necessary because the Chinese education system does not teach at length on the subject and most of the children in Second Wave are reaching a mature age at which such discussions were necessary.

When we first started our work in 2003 our North Korean orphans were around the age of 2 to 5. Now they are reaching their teens. Most of the children in Second Wave were born between 1998 and 2006, when the outflow of North Korean refugees into China was at its height.

It was an awkward subject to broach but our missionaries approached on the subject carefully. They opened by asking what the children thought of sex.

“The children said that sex is a very embarrassing thing,” our missionaries said in a recent report. “They said that it’s sinful and only bad people do it.”

The lesson taught that sexual relationships are a gift from God but that they were only to be in the context of marriage. They even brought in something familiar to the kids.

“We found amazing Chinese letter – 性 (xing), which means means 'sex',” our missionaries went on to say.  “It is a combination of two words, the first part, 心, means ‘mind’. The second, 生, means body.  So true sex means body and soul. It matches what the Bible says.”

Our missionaries reported that, despite the awkward subject matter, the children were attentive. The caregivers of our group homes were the most thankful. Raised in the shame-based culture of China, subjects such as sex are hardly spoken of. We are grateful that the children were willing to be open to learning and sharing. We are also glad that our field staff and caretakers have boldness and wisdom in raising North Korean orphans with love and compassion.

Looking to the future, we will be shifting our curriculum focus from children to adolescents, developing methods on how to meet the changing needs of those in our care. We look forward to the challenge.

Staff Notes: A Gift of Potential to North Korean Orphans

The following post was written by Crossing Borders volunteer staff: It seems that everywhere I turn lately, I'm running into reminders of our North Korean orphans. And it's usually in the unlikeliest of places. For example, a couple weeks ago I was reading Grace-Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel (which obviously has nothing to do with North Korea), and I came across this quote:

“There is a deep longing in the heart of every child to make a difference. They were hard-wired by God to want to do more than take up space…. That’s why tyrannical governments get so little out of their people. God didn’t create us to ignore our potential or abandon our dreams.”

Here I am, reading this book about parenting in hopes of finding some words of wisdom to help parent my two daughters, but the first thing that comes to my mind is each of the refugee children that Crossing Borders has supported over the years, and the individual dreams and potential that every North Korean orphan represents. In North Korea they would not have had a choice to pursue those dreams that God had planted in their hearts. They would be required to submit those dreams to the whims of a government that most certainly was not concerned with what was in their best interest.

But that is not the kind of God who created us. He created each of us, including every child that we serve, as individuals, with unique and purposeful longings and desires and dreams that are waiting to be fulfilled.

And then again, just this weekend, I attended a “Missional Moms” conference where it seemed God kept whispering to me, “Don’t forget about the orphans. Don’t forget about North Korea.”

One of the speakers, Shayne Moore, who wrote the book Global Soccer Mom after she was awakened from her own “suburbia stupor,” encouraged each one of us to go beyond our own small worlds and pursue the burdens that God has laid on our hearts. In her book she writes:

“I’m only one woman, who lives in one town, who goes to one church and who has one voice, but I have come to believe all our ones add up and together we can make a difference.”

At the end of her session, she told a beautiful story about meeting a little five-year old girl in Africa who had so much charisma and presence that she drew the attention of those around her simply by being who she was, and how this little African girl inspired her own fifth-grade daughter to come to the conclusion that “You’re never too small to make a difference.”

When I think about my own daughters, and when I think of each of the North Korean orphans in our Second Wave shelters, it reminds me that even they are not too small to make a difference. These are the children that will be the next generation that God is raising up, children that already say they want to grow up to be pastors and missionaries and teachers, and return to the country that their mothers and fathers fled, in hopes of bringing the good news of God’s love to a people that so desperately need to hear it. I suppose this is part of the mysterious way that God works, bringing salvation and hope, one individual, one soul at a time. To our Heavenly Father, each person matters. And no one, no child, is too small to be forgotten.

Prayer for North Korean Refugees: Unsung Heroes (Part I)

They prefer not to be seen in our brochures or website. Each day they do their jobs knowing they might be arrested. They are Chinese citizens, which means they can go to jail for an indefinite amount of time if caught helping a North Korean refugee. They are truly heroes and they are truly human. Our local staff is comprised of about 15 Korean-Chinese workers who have given their lives to this dangerous work. We have a group of missionaries who manage the operations but our local staff does most of the dirty work.

They are there for our Second Wave orphans 24/7 with no vacation. They drive or take the bus on dark nights to get to the remote areas where our North Korean refugees hide and live. They are our eyes and ears and often warn us of impending danger from the Chinese government.

But they are also people.

They get tired. They lose their focus. They get depressed. They get scared.

There is a lot of work that we put into making sure our local staff stays on track. We have not been perfect in doing this but part of our call is to help them help North Koreans refugees. The work of saving refugees in China cannot be done without the help of these people.

Please pray for them as they brave through the Chinese night to help North Korean refugees. Please help us pray as they fight their own desires to serve faithfully in God’s kingdom.